Family traditions abound during Christmas festivities. Inside every woman resides a desire to pass on customs to her children and leave a legacy. But what do you do if you’re single? No children excitedly hover around your tree shaking boxes to guess their gift. Nobody admires your decorations or wants you to read them The Night Before Christmas. Do you establish traditions for yourself or just pack away that yearning and tuck it on a shelf never to be used?

Every year I encountered the same feeling of emptiness when I displayed all my decorations, many of them childhood memories and traditions. Is Christmas not as meaningful for singles, I pondered? Is this something else we have to surrender?

I heard a whisper, “Shelley, you don’t live here by yourself. I live here too. What traditions can we establish together at Christmas?” I realized that was true. Jesus inhabited my home all year, but especially at Christmas. I needed to institute something that was between Him and me.

While staring at my fireplace mantle, I realized that my childhood stocking hung their alone, but what about Jesus? Where was His stocking?” I raced to Hobby Lobby and purchased the perfect stocking, returned home, and hung it with care. His is embroidered with “I” for “Immanuel” – God is with us. (Yes, Immanuel can be spelled with an “E” or an “I”)

My next revelation prompted me to consider what gift I would give Jesus. I spent time and money shopping for the perfect present for others, but where was my gift for my Savior and housemate? Hello, it’s His birthday we’re celebrating.

After praying about it, I decided that each Christmas I would ask Jesus what would be the perfect gift I could give Him. Did He want my time? Was there a hidden sin I needed to remove from my life? Could I use my talents for His purposes in the next year? I would then write His response on a slip of paper and place it in His stocking. This ritual has become my personal tradition.

I wonder what Jesus will want this year?


This picture doesn’t just make me chuckle; it makes me downright laugh out loud. It is my all-time favorite for so many reasons. I love:

-the baby sitting contentedly in her bouncy seat not worried at all that the permanent marker may decorate her face until the senior prom.


-the older sister proudly holding up her marker in a statement of “Look what I did. Isn’t it pretty?”


-the mom with the foresight to not panic, but capture the moment on film.


I especially love to apply the picture to my own life. I have realized that no matter what mess I may make of things, my Heavenly Father chuckles, captures it with His camera, and happily cleans me up.

This picture has become the background on my computer’s desktop as a reminder to chuckle more and to trust in God to be present even when everything seems to be a catastrophe.


One of the efficient employees of Arise Ministries lets me know she’s completed a task by sending an email announcing, “Done.” I love that word! A few days ago I facetiously told her, “I’m gonna put that on my headstone – Done!”

Immediately the connotations bounced around my brain as I realized it’s my perfect epitaph! According to Webster’s Dictionary, done means “completed, finished, through, exhausted or used up.” Here’s how the definitions line up with the one-word homage:

1. I’m through with my life on earth
2. I completed the tasks assigned to me by God
3. I’ve finished the race I was called to run
4. I have exhausted all avenues to glorify God
5. My time’s been expended in building His Kingdom

One of my favorite quotes states: “I may be burning the candle at both ends, but at least when I die, I won’t have any wick left.”


That’s my goal. I want to live my life in such a way that when I pass from this hemisphere to the heavenly realms, my to-do list will be stamped “complete.”

The best part will occur when I gaze into my Savior’s face and hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

What is your perfect epitaph?





Every parent wants their child to succeed in school. The beginning of each new year commences with excitement, but a little anxiety too.

As a teacher for 24 years, I wanted to share my tidbits of how you can help your child thrive in the classroom.



Tidbit #5 - Consistency, fairness, and composure. Three key words to relating to your child about school performance. Initiate time to look at their graded papers and test results. Applaud them for great work, appreciate them for extra effort, and encourage them to continue toward positive results. Discuss assignments that were not completed well and have them offer suggestions on how they can do better. When your children understand that you love them unconditionally despite their grades, they will feel more comfortable to visit with you about successes and failures. Offer favorite rewards to recognize great report cards and select discipline that will get their attention to make changes if they earned unacceptable grades. As a parent, you are the thermometer in the house. Interaction about school will be regulated by you. Choose to be a parent that responds appropriately with stability and encouragement. It will make all the difference.


Tidbit #4 - Be an advocate for your child, but also understand there are 2 sides to everything. Students sometimes have a skewed perception of events (especially teenagers!). And the biggest misconception . . . teachers do give advance notice of projects, etc. even if your child doesn’t begin them until the last minute. I wish all teachers were wonderful, creative, and inspirational, but occasionally you will encounter the ones who don’t make your top ten list. If you don’t like or if you disagree with your child’s teacher, don’t voice it in front of them. Do not say negative things about the teacher to your child. Discuss it with your spouse, a friend, or talk directly to the teacher. Because if you’re critical and demeaning, you undermine their authority in the classroom and create a division between them and your child. It’s a lose-lose situation. I encourage you to pray for the exceptional educators, but pray especially hard for the not so greats. You might impact a whole classroom of students.

Tidbit #3 - It’s necessary for children to learn discipline and organization. They need you to help them develop those skills. Schedule designated time for homework. Once it becomes a habit, they’ll be more cooperative and proficient in completing their assignments. Each night teach them how to prepare for the next day: pack lunches, layout clothes, place all needed items in their book bags and set them by the front door. You’ll find the mornings run smoothly and everyone will enter their day with better attitudes. You especially!

Tidbit #2 - Designate time (dinner is an excellent place) to ask your child about his/her day at school. Choose 1-2 different questions to ask each evening. Soliciting too much information will shut down your child, but not inquiring at all gives the impression you don’t care. Pose open-ended questions like, “What was the favorite thing you did today?” or “Which class did you learn the most in and why?” By just asking “How was school?” or “What did you do today?,” you will get the famous answers, “fine” and “nothing.” Opening up communication about school will give you insight, bond you with your child, and affirm them by giving their day importance. Here's 15 question you can ask. Give them a try!

1. Tell me about the best part of your day.
2. What was the hardest thing you had to do today?
3. Did any of your classmates do anything funny?
4. Tell me about what you read in class.
5. Who did you play with today? What did you play?
6. Do you think math [or any subject] is too easy or too hard?
7. What's the biggest difference between this year and last year?
8. What rules are different at school than our rules at home? Do you think they're fair?
9. Who did you sit with at lunch?
10. Can you show me something you learned (or did) today?
11. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the day? Why? What would make it a 10?
12. What was the nicest thing you did for someone today?
13. What did you not do today that you wish you had done?
14. What song best describes your day?
15. What book best describes your day?


Tidbit #1 - Be involved. Make the effort to meet your child’s teachers within a few weeks of school starting. Touch base by email every couple of weeks for a progress check. Most districts make it easier with online grades, websites, posting teacher email addresses, etc. It’s your responsibility to monitor your child’s assignments, grades, and behavior. Don’t hover by constantly contacting teachers, but don’t be invisible either. Effective communication with the teachers will ensure a great partnership for your child’s benefit.



Solid concrete

Too heavy


No way through


Too thick


I’ll never reach the fresh air and warm sun


Too hard

I imagined these thoughts as I sat on my sister’s patio and noticed a plant that had sprouted through a crack in the concrete. Against all odds, the little green weed had persevered and conquered what many would consider impenetrable.


I thought, “How many times have I encountered difficulty and obstacles and desired to surrender to defeat?”


Webster’s Dictionary states perseverance means “to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of opposition or discouragement."



Quickly turning to James 5:3b-5a I read: But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us

Imagine how good it felt for the little green fella to come bursting forth to dance amid the wind and sun.

I tucked this example away for another day, a time when I’m raging against insurmountable odds, as a reminder not to give up, but that my perseverance will produce results!


Sisterly relationships are forged through childhood memories. Playing house, school, and Kick the Can establishes a deep-rooted bond that time can never erase.

That is how I describe my connection with my sister. It was through our childhood play and vacations that we became intertwined. We both loved growing up in Colorado as we hit the slopes, floated the rivers, and created snow angels. We lived in an idyllic world.

My sister has always been my hero. As a young girl I attempted to emulate her in many ways including picking the same bicycle and joining the school band, which was not my forte as I squeaked and squawked for years. I desired to be like my sister. She was outgoing, smart, and funny.

As we grew, we argued like typical siblings, but we always had each other’s backs. No matter what happened, at the end of the day we were family.

My favorite memories with her include:


  • Riding the Silverton Train through the mountains every summer

  • Drinking tons of water and then listening to it slosh in our stomachs

  • Shopping at Durango Music to purchase the new, popular 45 records

  • Drinking hot chocolate in the ski lodge

  • Floating down the Animas River on inner tubes

  • Playing travel games in the back seat of the car during vacations

  • Hanging out at her house during my summer breaks from teaching


We’re all grown up and sisterhood is even sweeter as adults. We both enjoy the same things: New York City at Christmas, musical theater, mountains, beaches, and travel. We’ve each pursued our own passions and life goals, but my sister is still my hero. A woman with a giving heart and a desire to serve, she unselfishly gives to her family and others.

I celebrate her today on her birthday. Thank you, Terri, for impacting my life in a huge way. Happy Birthday!






They don’t live in America. Few of us have ever met them. So why all the hoopla? Why are we intrigued or excited at the marriage of Prince William and Kate?

As little girls we sat glued to the television watching Cinderella over and over until our parents begged us to discover a new fascination. We envisioned ourselves as Cinderella attending the ball, locating our soul mate, and marrying the handsome prince. We wanted to ride in that carriage. We prayed we would meet our Prince Charming and live happily ever after.

Tucked in our hearts and minds resides a love for a royal wedding. When we consider a prince marrying a common girl at Westminster Abbey, departing the church in a royal carriage, and waving from the palace balcony, we are enchanted with the pomp and circumstance. Our memories of Cinderella come flooding back, and we find ourselves as adult women longing for a glimpse of happily ever after.

My royal wedding is coming someday. I am filled with anticipation of riding in the fancy carriage with Jesus.